Hello friends. Today's post isn't about a review or anything like that, just something that I thought of earlier today. If you know me in real life, you would know that I'm the type of person who don't have a ton of friends, just a few that I am really close with, and I spend a lot of my time going out alone or just with one or two friends. Most of the times when I'm outside walking around in the city I am usually alone. But there's just something that people need to remember about those like me; even though we choose to spend time on our own, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are alone or that we are in need of company but have a hard time finding it.
Being alone does not equal to being lonely or being unhappy due to the lack of company. I've always loved going to KL to just walk around and enjoy the vibe and scenery of the city, very rarely do I go out because I have a specific reason to. Somehow doing this without anyone else I know with me helps me keep myself calm. Often when I spend a few weeks or days at home accompanying my mother, I tend to reach this point where I get really stressed out and feel so suffocated when I'm not able to go out and just have a day to myself. Sometimes company is what gives me stress, and yet without company I am able to feel free and content with my life.
There has been a few occasions where my friends (those who don't know me that well) ask me why don't I have a boyfriend, why do I always wander off alone and why am I always so quiet when I'm around my many friends. Here's the thing; I am not one who agrees to commitment very easily, and I am not one to choose to hangout with a large group of people that I don't know very well. I find that committing to something that can't provide you with any assurance or benefits is worth my time. I'm not a fan of making small talks; I get really worn out trying to find the energy to find things to talk about, which often causes me to be the one left out during events that involve a lot of people. Don't get me wrong though, I am 85% committed to the few close friends that I have. These people including my family are people that I am willing to cross oceans for, even if sometimes they don't bother doing the same for me. I am willing to make effort for these people, because they matter to me and I've invested too much of time in them to stop now anyway. They know me so well, which makes it so easy for me to talk to them, because they will understand and for me, it's worth the effort. Basically what I'm trying to say is that if you're one of my good friends, you can expect that I will do anything to make sure you're okay; but if we're just "friends", you'd probably think that I'm antisocial and have no interest in people other than myself.
I always have so much fun whenever I go on adventures alone. The thrill itself is pretty exciting, and when I'm alone I am able to make many spontaneous decisions and I get to do whatever I feel like doing. I don't have to discuss where I should have lunch, what time should I leave whatsoever. I don't have to keep up with people who would rather walk slowly and be late for something instead of walking fast and be early. I don't feel terrible or sad when I'm alone, I just somehow have managed to adapt to the absence of company and learn to have fun instead. But at the same time I do enjoy my close friends' presence just as much. I have fun both when I'm alone as well as when I have my close friends around. So when do I feel uncomfortable and have the urge to leave? When there's just too much people around me at a time and I don't know them enough to have a conversation that's actually important to both parties. I'm cool with meeting new people, but sometimes it gets a bit tough for me to mix around. I'm not against hanging out with a lot of people, I just find it a little less comfortable than the other two options.
My thoughts on people who often complain about being lonely (most probably because they're used to having company) is that get used to it, bruh. There's absolutely nothing bad about spending sometime with yourself, in fact you might even be able to focus more on yourself and find out amazing things about yourself that were probably hidden away while you were focusing so much of your time on other people and their lives. Look at the chance of spending time alone as an opportunity to discover your potentials and your love for things that you never got a chance to look at while you were busy submerging yourself in the ocean of company.
I'm sorry at how random this post is, I just suddenly remembered how happy I was today when I finally had the chance to take a walk in the city on my own after being stuck at home with my mum for a long time due to several reasons. Yesterday I was on the verge of breaking down, luckily my friends Bella and Illah invited me out for lunch and I felt so much better after being able to breathe in some "city air". The ability to appreciate the beauty of the city is what I live for, and I am extremely grateful for having friends that always manage to help me escape from my own misery when I need it the most. I may be a lone adventurer, always out and about on my own, but I am definitely not a lonely traveller that craves company and attention. Also here's something that you should know, going adventuring alone often leads to other adventurers to come and say hi to you :)
I hope this post has been a good read, I'd love to know what your opinions are regarding this matter! Thank you for reading and see you soon :) xx
-am-
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