Sem Break 2.0!

Hello Semester 2 break!

I am currently in my ole' favourite spot in Starbucks, sipping on my mocha frappuccino, texting my boyfriend and just, chilling. Have't had the chance to do this in a long while, I'm glad I have today to spend on my own, despite having a blocked nose and pretty much freezing in this air-conditioned cafe. So, where do I begin writing? I think I shall start with summarising this entire semester.

So, this semester has been completely different than my first sem. In first semester, it was all about studio life. We ate, slept, and practically lived in our studios. This semester, we were privileged enough to spend most of our time in our dorms, and even spent a lot of our free time hanging out at Setia City Mall, which is a mall located near our campus. I even had the time to get dressed properly and put on some makeup every morning before class, which is good since I spent the last semester looking like a piece of trash hahaha. Anyway, design class went quite smoothly for me during the first two projects, but project 3 was pretty much a disaster, which is a shame since that final project matters so much more than the first two. Study wise, construction technology and history were pretty much hellish for me, I mean I did try to study constech earlier than all the other subjects, but I still had a hard time understanding the subject, and the worst part of it is that the topics that I have studied were not in the paper at all. Disappointing, amirite? Looking at the bright side, my friends and I got a lot closer this semester, since we spent a lot of time together playing bowling, karaoke, going out for sahoor at 3am in the morning till 5, I'm honestly quite surprised (and glad) at how close we've gotten. There's no denying that these kids are pretty much my second family now. As usual, drama was inevitable. This semester we had more drama to deal with compared to last semester, but somehow the arguments and misunderstandings that we've had have brought us closer together, as we've spent sometime working on fixing those two problems. For archifest this sem, we won a few awards, most outstanding award is probably the best studio award. Oh and also the best performance award, which Nia, Eyas and I performed a mashup and a raya song for. We managed to go on a few tripbarais as well, the highlight is probably our raya trip to Johor and Selangor, where we drove all the way to Johor Bahru and back, and the fact that I drove 180kph on the way back :p That was one hella experience.

#tripbarai raya black edition 2k16: Haziq, Caer, Dikmas, Nia, Yong, Akid, Afiq & Eyas (front row) (missing a lot more from this picture)

Oh, before I forget, sports! We had a pretty rad archisport this semester, and my favourite part is probably our frisbee matches. Kosmik didn't manage to win, but I had the opportunity to play for Maverik, and even got to wear their Subway jersey, which was pretty hella awesome. Archisport has given me the chance mingle with the seniors, which is quite nice seeing that I no longer have that privilege through Mestika ever since I've quit playing angklung.

Part of Kosmik Studio (Kispot '16 Futsal)

 I think that's for the summary of my second half of my first year studying architecture in UiTM, if I've missed out anything, maybe I'll include it in the next post! Thank you for reading this ^^

-am- 

H O M E

I never liked going back home.

Back in high school, going home would mean receiving long lectures from my mother, having to deal with my brother getting angry at every little thing that I do, getting ignored or laughed at whenever I'm telling my family how my day was, having to say a temporary goodbye to my friends at school and many more. Nothing was ever right at home during high school, the moment I reached home was also the moment I felt the need to leave. Even when I was on holiday I would try my best to find ways not having to stay home. I guess you could say home was my least favourite part at that time.

I am now currently studying in a university, where I only get to go home once or twice every six months, and I still don't favour going home. It is a different feeling, though. During my first semester, I didn't want to go home for the same reasons as in high school, but now that I am in my second semester, it's a whole different vibe. I still don't wanna go home, not because I hated it, but because I can't help but feel sad when I'm here. When I enter the house, the smell is no longer familiar, not sure if it is because I'm no longer used to it or things are now just... different. I start thinking about how I no longer get to drink the tea my mum makes everyday like I did the past 9 years, or how the bottles that were always empty are now all full because I'm no longer here to drink all the water and forgetting to refill them, or how there was always food on the table because my mum had to cook all the time to feed hungry me.. Every time I return, I am reminded of how fast time is passing by, how things will no longer be the way they were previously, how sooner or later I will no longer get to drink the tea my mum makes, ever. 

Not going home doesn't mean not feeling horrible at school either. High school was a mess for me, with all the silly drama going on, I mean, it is high school after all, all those things were predicted. But still, I guess going to school would hurt a little less than going home, and whenever I had the chance, I would go out and spend time on my own without any care. Now, I live in a hostel right in front of my faculty with no car, I'm pretty much stuck with very little options to destress. I cried very little during my first semester because I was having so much fun, but this semester... I spoke way too much of my family and cried way too often remembering home. Emotions is a horrible thing to deal with; although I am extremely thankful for having such a patient roommate - Elina who I don't give enough credits to.

I've always distanced myself from home for as long as I can remember, beginning with not liking the environment and as I grew up, the reason is that I refuse to get too attached to the memories to avoid getting hurt when all of this will be gone, and I think the side effect is starting to fall upon me. I think homesickness has finally caught up on me and I don't like how it's affecting me. There's no in between, its either I'm drowning in my own sadness thinking of my family; or I literally don't feel anything about them at all. Sometimes it feels as if the latter is a better option, its one where I feel less painful and get less distracted. But I guess it won't be so easy to kill of my emotions. 

I hope I can stay strong for the next few years of my life. I have to. I still have a long journey to overcome and emotions will only slow down my momentum. I sound really cliche and stuck up but lets be real, I really am an emotional wreck so lets take the safe route, shall we? 

I apologise for the rather weepy post, hope to be more positive in the next one! ^^

-am-

Hectic & Chaotic

Hi there! 

It's been awhile since you last heard from me (unless if you followed me on twitter/ig). It has been a pretty hectic semester so far; we finished our first design project on Monday which I think I did pretty decent for, also finally dah lepak in the new PTAR library in our faculty (in fact we were there for an entire day looking for references for our 2nd project), and I've been playing frisbee and badminton during the evening with my friends, not as often as I did during the beginning of the semester tho, ever since I got my knee busted by sliding on the futsal court while playing frisbee last week.

So over here in Palam, things are so different compared to our life back in Shah Alam. The rules are much stricter, we're not allowed to stay in our studios any later than 6pm, we have to be back in our apartment by 11pm, absolutely no students' cars are allowed here; sometimes it feels as if we're living the life of students of a boarding school. Not exactly sure the reasons behind the constrictions, but rumours say that UiTM is trying to minimise electricity usage since they don't actually own this place (I don't know how true this is). Anyway, putting the cons of living here aside, I personally think this place is pretty rad. I mean, we have 3 futsal courts, one football field, 2 tennis courts, a lake where we can run around all too ourselves (the FSSR & FSPU students). Did I mention that our dormitory is in fact an apartment? 4 rooms per house, and 2 beds per room, making it 8 students living in one apartment with a decent dining table, and pretty decent toilets as well. Being one of the earliest batches to move in here, the buildings and the facilities are still in their best condition. We even have 2 different cafes, a library, oh and let me remind you how the faculties are located right next door to our apartments. Sure, we're not allowed to do many things here, and it sucks that we're not able to use the facilities at night, but I think if we were able to do so, things would be pretty much perfect here. Its a shame that we probably won't have the chance to stay here again next semester though.

I found myself spending quite a huge amount of my time complaining about the flaws of staying here, but I wish I had been more grateful. I'll try to post some pictures of this place soon, but for now this post shall be imageless.

See you again soon!

am