Sem Break 2.0!

Hello Semester 2 break!

I am currently in my ole' favourite spot in Starbucks, sipping on my mocha frappuccino, texting my boyfriend and just, chilling. Have't had the chance to do this in a long while, I'm glad I have today to spend on my own, despite having a blocked nose and pretty much freezing in this air-conditioned cafe. So, where do I begin writing? I think I shall start with summarising this entire semester.

So, this semester has been completely different than my first sem. In first semester, it was all about studio life. We ate, slept, and practically lived in our studios. This semester, we were privileged enough to spend most of our time in our dorms, and even spent a lot of our free time hanging out at Setia City Mall, which is a mall located near our campus. I even had the time to get dressed properly and put on some makeup every morning before class, which is good since I spent the last semester looking like a piece of trash hahaha. Anyway, design class went quite smoothly for me during the first two projects, but project 3 was pretty much a disaster, which is a shame since that final project matters so much more than the first two. Study wise, construction technology and history were pretty much hellish for me, I mean I did try to study constech earlier than all the other subjects, but I still had a hard time understanding the subject, and the worst part of it is that the topics that I have studied were not in the paper at all. Disappointing, amirite? Looking at the bright side, my friends and I got a lot closer this semester, since we spent a lot of time together playing bowling, karaoke, going out for sahoor at 3am in the morning till 5, I'm honestly quite surprised (and glad) at how close we've gotten. There's no denying that these kids are pretty much my second family now. As usual, drama was inevitable. This semester we had more drama to deal with compared to last semester, but somehow the arguments and misunderstandings that we've had have brought us closer together, as we've spent sometime working on fixing those two problems. For archifest this sem, we won a few awards, most outstanding award is probably the best studio award. Oh and also the best performance award, which Nia, Eyas and I performed a mashup and a raya song for. We managed to go on a few tripbarais as well, the highlight is probably our raya trip to Johor and Selangor, where we drove all the way to Johor Bahru and back, and the fact that I drove 180kph on the way back :p That was one hella experience.

#tripbarai raya black edition 2k16: Haziq, Caer, Dikmas, Nia, Yong, Akid, Afiq & Eyas (front row) (missing a lot more from this picture)

Oh, before I forget, sports! We had a pretty rad archisport this semester, and my favourite part is probably our frisbee matches. Kosmik didn't manage to win, but I had the opportunity to play for Maverik, and even got to wear their Subway jersey, which was pretty hella awesome. Archisport has given me the chance mingle with the seniors, which is quite nice seeing that I no longer have that privilege through Mestika ever since I've quit playing angklung.

Part of Kosmik Studio (Kispot '16 Futsal)

 I think that's for the summary of my second half of my first year studying architecture in UiTM, if I've missed out anything, maybe I'll include it in the next post! Thank you for reading this ^^

-am- 

5 Things I've Learnt: As a Freshman in University!

1. SPM Results No Longer Matter

Sure, you spend the first 17 years of your life worrying about how your SPM results is going to turn out. But one you enter college/university, no one will give you any special treatment based on your results. In my case, studying in architecture requires creativity, sense of logic and skills; not how many As you got for your SPM. In fact, if you think so highly of your result, you’re only risking yourself to higher disappointment when you fail to score your subjects the way you did in school.

2.  Tolerance and Consideration is Key to Surviving 

Back in my first semester, I was lucky enough to experience life as an architecture student in UiTM Shah Alam, where the studio was where we spent most our lives at. Without tolerance, I don’t think I would be able to care for my fellow Kosmikians as much as I do now. I realised that the trend among teenagers nowadays is to be savage af, but honestly, don’t. It’s not worth your time to have enemies and have fights with the people that you will be spending your life with for the next four years. Just have fun together and live a peaceful life as a family.

3. Always Take the High Road, Avoid Making (Negative) Assumptions 

I’ve never really liked it when people make ridiculous assumptions behind my back, and I’ve also learnt that people don’t like it either when I do the same to them. When there’s miscommunications or misunderstandings, the first thing that we usually do is to find someone to blame. I’ve learnt that this does not solve anything, in face it will only make matters worse. Always try to understand the problem from both parties before making any conclusion.

4.  University Is Not About Competition

I’m the type of person who would usually compare myself with people with better grade/achievements in order to motivate myself to improve, and I still do so, but ever since I entered this course, I’ve learnt that university is more about helping each other and motivation each other so that everyone can succeed together. Architecture life has thought me so much about being selfless, and not to work on succeeding alone. It’s all about graduating together at the end of our 4 years journey together. 

5.  Everyone Is Busy in University

I’ve often felt super guilty because of how rarely I contact my friends from highschool. I used to make time for them all the time and yet I fail to do the same ever since I got in UiTM. This sense of guilt took a toll on me and sometimes I would just spend my days crying over matters like this. When I met up with Sarah (one of my bestfriend from high school) recently, she told me how she felt the same, and thats when I realised that all of us are extremely busy after all. But this doesn’t mean that friends can’t stay friends, in fact it makes us even closer as we appreciate each other even more due to the distance. I’m extremely grateful over the fact that despite seeing each other so rarely, every time we contact it feels the same as it did back in high school.

All in all, I've learnt a lot in my first and a half semester so far, and there's still much more for me to learn before I finish my freshman year. I look forward for the next 3 years here!

-am-

H O M E

I never liked going back home.

Back in high school, going home would mean receiving long lectures from my mother, having to deal with my brother getting angry at every little thing that I do, getting ignored or laughed at whenever I'm telling my family how my day was, having to say a temporary goodbye to my friends at school and many more. Nothing was ever right at home during high school, the moment I reached home was also the moment I felt the need to leave. Even when I was on holiday I would try my best to find ways not having to stay home. I guess you could say home was my least favourite part at that time.

I am now currently studying in a university, where I only get to go home once or twice every six months, and I still don't favour going home. It is a different feeling, though. During my first semester, I didn't want to go home for the same reasons as in high school, but now that I am in my second semester, it's a whole different vibe. I still don't wanna go home, not because I hated it, but because I can't help but feel sad when I'm here. When I enter the house, the smell is no longer familiar, not sure if it is because I'm no longer used to it or things are now just... different. I start thinking about how I no longer get to drink the tea my mum makes everyday like I did the past 9 years, or how the bottles that were always empty are now all full because I'm no longer here to drink all the water and forgetting to refill them, or how there was always food on the table because my mum had to cook all the time to feed hungry me.. Every time I return, I am reminded of how fast time is passing by, how things will no longer be the way they were previously, how sooner or later I will no longer get to drink the tea my mum makes, ever. 

Not going home doesn't mean not feeling horrible at school either. High school was a mess for me, with all the silly drama going on, I mean, it is high school after all, all those things were predicted. But still, I guess going to school would hurt a little less than going home, and whenever I had the chance, I would go out and spend time on my own without any care. Now, I live in a hostel right in front of my faculty with no car, I'm pretty much stuck with very little options to destress. I cried very little during my first semester because I was having so much fun, but this semester... I spoke way too much of my family and cried way too often remembering home. Emotions is a horrible thing to deal with; although I am extremely thankful for having such a patient roommate - Elina who I don't give enough credits to.

I've always distanced myself from home for as long as I can remember, beginning with not liking the environment and as I grew up, the reason is that I refuse to get too attached to the memories to avoid getting hurt when all of this will be gone, and I think the side effect is starting to fall upon me. I think homesickness has finally caught up on me and I don't like how it's affecting me. There's no in between, its either I'm drowning in my own sadness thinking of my family; or I literally don't feel anything about them at all. Sometimes it feels as if the latter is a better option, its one where I feel less painful and get less distracted. But I guess it won't be so easy to kill of my emotions. 

I hope I can stay strong for the next few years of my life. I have to. I still have a long journey to overcome and emotions will only slow down my momentum. I sound really cliche and stuck up but lets be real, I really am an emotional wreck so lets take the safe route, shall we? 

I apologise for the rather weepy post, hope to be more positive in the next one! ^^

-am-

Hectic & Chaotic

Hi there! 

It's been awhile since you last heard from me (unless if you followed me on twitter/ig). It has been a pretty hectic semester so far; we finished our first design project on Monday which I think I did pretty decent for, also finally dah lepak in the new PTAR library in our faculty (in fact we were there for an entire day looking for references for our 2nd project), and I've been playing frisbee and badminton during the evening with my friends, not as often as I did during the beginning of the semester tho, ever since I got my knee busted by sliding on the futsal court while playing frisbee last week.

So over here in Palam, things are so different compared to our life back in Shah Alam. The rules are much stricter, we're not allowed to stay in our studios any later than 6pm, we have to be back in our apartment by 11pm, absolutely no students' cars are allowed here; sometimes it feels as if we're living the life of students of a boarding school. Not exactly sure the reasons behind the constrictions, but rumours say that UiTM is trying to minimise electricity usage since they don't actually own this place (I don't know how true this is). Anyway, putting the cons of living here aside, I personally think this place is pretty rad. I mean, we have 3 futsal courts, one football field, 2 tennis courts, a lake where we can run around all too ourselves (the FSSR & FSPU students). Did I mention that our dormitory is in fact an apartment? 4 rooms per house, and 2 beds per room, making it 8 students living in one apartment with a decent dining table, and pretty decent toilets as well. Being one of the earliest batches to move in here, the buildings and the facilities are still in their best condition. We even have 2 different cafes, a library, oh and let me remind you how the faculties are located right next door to our apartments. Sure, we're not allowed to do many things here, and it sucks that we're not able to use the facilities at night, but I think if we were able to do so, things would be pretty much perfect here. Its a shame that we probably won't have the chance to stay here again next semester though.

I found myself spending quite a huge amount of my time complaining about the flaws of staying here, but I wish I had been more grateful. I'll try to post some pictures of this place soon, but for now this post shall be imageless.

See you again soon!

am

Friendship & Effort

Tomorrow will be my best friend - Tsara Aisyah's birthday. A few days ago, a friend of mine told me to send a short video message of myself wishing her happy birthday to her sister, and I failed to do so as I thought I was too busy to do so. I couldn't stop feeling the guilt, I only had to send a short video, and yet I couldn't bother to spend a fraction of my time to do something that will possibly make her day. Since when did I become so.. selfish?

I went through my collection of birthday cards made by my friends, I remembered the amount of effort we used to put in during everyone's birthday, not because we had to, but because it was the best way to show how much that particular person meant to us. I never missed making handmade birthday cards for my friends, and made sure that the birthday celebration is as meaningful as possible; heck, I even sent a package of birthday presents all the way to Australia last year! When university first started, I couldn't help but wonder, why does it feel as if all the friendships I have now are so bland? And now I've finally understood that it is myself who has been lacking effort, and there's only myself to blame. 

Hopefully this new semester I will be able to enjoy things the way I used to in high school, prioritise things depending on how happy it makes me feel. I had a lot to go through during high school (I'm sure all of us did), but my friends were one of the strong pillars that helped me survive through the bad days, and there's no reason for me to take them for granted now. If you do know me personally and feel like I'm distanced myself these past few months, I am really sorry, I had a messy start to university, now that I'm in my second semester I shall try my best to make it up for you, and I love you, okay? Okay.

am

:(

Been feeling a bit low these past few days, felt the need to vent my thoughts to someone, here I am on my trusty old blog.

No one is going to listen to your justifications and explanations for being a shitty person. 

So you keep on listing down reasons, rethinking your excuses for days, only for yourself to see it. 

No one is going to look at your achievements, or the good things that you've done; when you've done one horrible thing to them, that's all that they are going to remember about you. 

This whole semester break, I've made a few decisions which at that moment I thought was what's best for me, and now that I have time to rethink and reevaluate everything, I'm starting to doubt myself. 

I keep on telling myself to focus on the pros instead of the cons, but not a day goes by without me thinking about how things must've been through the other person's perspective. I must've seemed like a complete prick, maybe I am one after all. An apology is not going to change anything, if the other person refuses to apologise. Part of me feels like an apology is what I have to do now, but part of me still insists that that's not necessary at all. And that's probably the main problem, ego. Ego on both sides. 

Let's lay down our weapons and go back to being friends, please?

am

2016?! Dah 2016????

Assalamualaikum friends!

I am currently sitting on a couch, laptop on my lap, and my phone next to me. It's 1am, and I'm still pretty much having trouble trying to write a blogpost on this blog and my travel blog. Trust me, I've been trying to update this blog since the first day of the semester break, but somehow my brain isn't processing things the way I expect it to.

What's that? Semester break? Heck yeah semester break! First semester of university ended late January, and we're currently waiting for second semester to start late February. On Monday I'll be on my way to Melaka with my friends, and we'll be staying there and in Johor for 3 days. Extremely excited for this trip, I'll let you know about the whole thing as soon as I can. 

Anyway, life update. How was semester 1 like? I've learnt so much, tried so many things, and made so many new friends. Even celebrated NYE with my high school friends at a party - *wow*. Academic wise, Alhamdulillah everything went "smoothly", I have yet to get my finals results, but hopefully it's not too bad. Archifest was hella great (thank you MVRK Studio & @rchisa for organizing such a memorable event), SAF was awesome (silver medal for ultimate frisbee, oh yeah) and review went well (thank you Tuah Studio & again, @rchisa for making it interesting). My friends and I went for several spontaneous trips this semester, we went to Broga, Putrajaya, Bagan Lalang, Cameron, Fraser, Temerloh, Jengka, and a few other places, and we're hoping to go on more in the future. On our first trip to BBW, Putrajaya & Sepang, I drove on the highway without an instructor for the first time and I've been driving ever since. Today I drove Abang's oldie-but-goodie Saga for the first time, alone too. Spent first semester in UiTM's Shah Alam campus, and I'm kinda sad over the fact that we'll be moving to Puncak Alam next semester. I mean, the facilities in Palam is freaking amazing and all while Salam is a whole different story, but so many important events in my life happened in Shah Alam, so many good memories were made there, also the car rental in Salam is really convenient and cheap so that's another reason to miss Shah Alam. But I do look forward to studying in Palam, since the facilities are on par to those in private universities, which makes me kinda grateful that I decided to enter UiTM instead of Taylor's *whoops*

I have learnt several things about myself this past semester, improved several flaws, but there's one major thing I still fail to fix. My feelings. I catch feelings waaaay too easily, and my actions can be too impromptu sometimes, which is really, really annoying. I really need to get my shiz together and learn to survive on myself and love myself before I even start thinking about relationships. Semester 1 was a rollercoaster of emotions, I'm over it now (I think), and hopefully I can start next sem with a fresh mind and attitude ^^

To summarise everything up, I had tonne of fun last semester, and I hope it'll be even greater next semester. To those eagerly waiting to start their first semester soon, I can guarantee you that this course is the best decision you'll ever make in your life, that is if you allow yourself to love and enjoy it as much as you possibly can. I'm off to get some sleep now since I have a meeting tomorrow, will try to update soon! 

*ps: you may have noticed that pictures from my previous posts have gone missing, this is due to a technical issue and I'm really sorry for it! I'll try to find the pictures back and repost them soon ^^

-am-

Mid-semester break!

Mid semester break!

Wow, so the last time I posted something on this blog was on May 24th.. That was six months ago. I have been missing from this website for six months, when all I wanted to do was to focus on this blog. Hah. Great job Aliah!

I guess I now owe myself an explanation for going MIA for so long, since I'm pretty much the only person who knows about this blog... Anyway, where do I begin? During May I got a job, worked at a book store for 3 months - more or less, then entered university on the 1st of September 2015. I am currently doing my degree in Architecture in UiTM Shah Alam, and honestly, I think I've fallen in love with this place, this course and everything that has to do with my life here. Hey, I think I know where I should start... I shall start with telling you bits and pieces about my course.

From my experience, whenever someone mentions furthering their studies in architecture, the respond they get aren't usually positive. Architecture is known as a tiring, lengthy, exhausting and mentally torturing course. I'm not gonna lie, it is definitely tiring, as you will barely get any proper sleep here, and there are so many interesting events you can participate in that sometimes its hard to prioritise between your assignments and your participation in the non-academic activities. In my case, I try to be involved in as many activities (that interest me) as I possibly can, and I have to say that its not easy to manage your time here. Sure, I make sure I pass up my assignments on time, be punctual at all times, but that doesn't mean that I'm doing well as a student. I've barely gotten any As for my assignments, only managed to get around an hour of sleep per day - most of the time no sleep at all. I'm not proud of that but hey, I'm still learning, and all of this is still pretty new to me (says someone who's already halfway through her first semester). What I'm trying to say is that its not easy to do well in this course, but its not impossible to learn how to do so. I still believe that I can cope with my assignments, and that by the end of the semester I will be able to get my As by redoing all of it.

Even though I'm not doing so well in my design classes, but hey, I think I'm doing okay as a person. I have great friends here, I'm learning to be a better person, and I honestly think that I'm doing so much better than I did in high school. I think the most comforting thing to me is that I can see that I'm trying my best. I do have my down times in the past 2+ months, I've seen my close friends breaking down in front of me and they've seen me at my lowest point even though we've only known each other for a few months, and I don't know, there's something special about this course that makes the bond between us so strong in such a short time. I've never seen someone put so much trust in another person that they've just met. The amount of trust and faith that we have in each other is mind blowing, and the things I've learnt about myself and the world in this past mid-semester is pretty amazing too. The thing about studying architecture in UiTM Shah Alam is that you have this huge community of architecture students ranging from alumni to lecturers and to freshmen like myself supporting you and preparing you for the outside world. The inductions and the activities that they have arranged for us have helped build the bond between the students of our own studio as well as between us and the seniors. I've only been here for such a short while, and I still have a long way to go, but looking at the progress and the momentum that I am experiencing, I think the next few semesters will be a little bit easier that its supposed to be.

I feel like I'm lucky since all of my roommates are from the same course, so we have the same schedule and we all barely spend any time at our dorm. This means that I get to do things with them like going out and stuff, since we all spend the same amount of time on our assignments and we all have the same amount of free time. Sometimes I do stop by my other friends' rooms, even randomly sleep over their room when I have the time. The people here are really pleasant, and I'm glad that God has decided to send me to this university to pursue this particular course. 

Right now I am alone in my room, blasting my favourite music and having some alone time. I don't usually get to do this, since my time is so occupied and that I live with 3 other girls in this room, but since it is currently the mid semester break and everyone else is having a great time at home, I'm pretty much one of the very few people who have decided to spend our holiday here. I have drawings to do and movies to watch, I'll (try to) update you guys soon!

-am-

Valebat 2015: First (Proper) Job!

Hey there! I haven't been writing blogposts in a while because I've been occupied by my first job as a cashier at a bookstore near my house. Currently, I'm not in the best place but I'm trying my best to stay positive. I started this job on last Tuesday, which means today is my 6th day working there. I've had several short jobs before, well they were actually work-experience sorta job that lasted for a day which I volunteered for twice last year. Those jobs were amazing, I was in charge of promoting brain-stimulating toys at Hamley's and BORDERS and I absolutely loved both jobs. This time, I feel like the job really isn't something that I should be doing.

When I applied for the job, I didn't actually plan on working as a cashier, but that was what the interviewer assigned me to so I just, well, agreed to it since I thought it would be a nice new thing to experience. First day, there were so many things that I had to remember from the beginning of the day till the end. By the way, incase you were wondering, I work 6 days/week (no holiday & pay for the first week of work), 10am to 9.30pm. So the first day was pretty hectic, I was quite blur but I managed. Second day however was crazier. Their original cashier (Kak Tasha) was on leave and I was left alone with one of the managers/boss (Kak Tijah) (I still have no idea) to handle the cashiers. It went well in the beginning since we don't get that many customers anyway, but halfway through the day I messed up real bad by missing out on a few discounts on a customer's purchase, plus they were using credit card to pay so that made it even worse. The other manager/boss (Jason) who I, at that time, have yet to talk to, was pretty upset and that scared me a lot. I was trying my best to love my job and learn to get used to everything but that mistake made me extremely anxious and now I get a little bit nervous whenever a customer decides to pay using methods other than cash. At the end of the night the managers were still talking about it and at one point I just couldn't take the guilt anymore and I sorta cried. How mature of me. I felt extremely bad because I really didn't mean to do anything wrong and cause trouble for both the managers and the customer, but I did and there really was nothing I could do about it. Before it was time for us to go home, Jason was attempting to cheer me up by making jokes and reading random quotes off a children's motivation book. I guess that worked for a while.

Today is the 6th day and again another money-related problem surfaced. I'm not going to into details on what happened, but let's just say no one knows whose fault it really was and being the new guy and the one who's prone to making mistakes, I couldn't help but think it was mine and let's just say I don't feel good about it all. It could've been someone else's fault but I just cannot help but think that I am responsible for it. Here's the thing, I've never liked jobs that requires me to deal with people's money. This is quite ironic since I was the head treasurer of my high school's prefects' board as well as the treasurer for my sports house last year. These two posts weren't such a big deal, there wasn't much transactions involved, plus the money wasn't going in and out continuously so there wasn't much room for mistakes anyway. But being a cashier means there's a very high possibility that you can either give less or give more money to the customers and cause trouble for the company. And I don't feel bad because I will get scolded or I might have to be responsible for the loss, but I feel bad because these people, no matter the company nor the customers, are losing money because of my carelessness and I hate that. I hate being in a situation like that. I don't mind doing jobs that requires a lot of my physical energy like keeping records or checking stocks or labelling products, I really don't. In fact I've been doing these things for the past 6 days despite my position being the cashier of the store. But I really hope that once the new staffs come in (tomorrow hopefully), I'll be able to request to change my position in the store and stop being responsible of all the transactions going in and out of the store. This kind of environment gives me so much anxiety and I get so stressed out even though to some it might not even be a big deal. Plus, the store that I'm working has so many promotions and the cashiers are supposed to manually add up the discounts, which means we have to make sure that all different kinds of discounts have been given to the customer for each product. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense right now since I am writing out of frustration. Basically, the job as the cashier of the store sucks a lot and I really don't like it. At all.

Don't get me wrong, the people working there - Jason, Kak Tasha, Kiki, Zaza, Wawa, Afiq, Syabil and Kak Tijah are all incredibly sweet and welcoming people that I am comfortable around, but the vibe around the cashier area just isn't healthy for me. Jason, Kak Tasha and Kiki are among the sweetest people I've known, despite the fact that Kiki, Zaza and Wawa can't really speak in English nor Malay. I love the place, I really do, but being the cashier just kills the mood for me. I really hope that by this week I'll be able to switch to another position, so that I can turn the negative hate into love. I'm not gonna lie, before this whenever someone says they hate their job, I automatically feel like they should really try to love their job and embrace the challenges instead of looking at them as something that they should avoid. But now, I understand that sometimes it can be really hard, and if you feel like the job isn't healthy for your wellbeing, do try to change it. I feel quite disappointed in myself for failing to love my first job, but I really cannot take the stress. I've been thinking about quitting immediately/earlier than planned but somehow I feel like I should keep on trying and not give up so soon. I'm pretty sure I sound really weak right now, but I think if you were like me and spent almost 6 months doing absolutely nothing and starting a job that requires so much of your mental energy, you would be just as exhausted and upset as I currently am. Hopefully in a few days things will feel better, and I will keep you updated when things don't feel as bad as they do now.

I apologise for the post that's slightly on the negative side, but this past week has been crazy stressful for me and I didn't really have shoulder to cry on nor someone to rant at (I don't really want to shower my friends with negativity right now), but I hope it has been an interesting read and let me know how your first job was! ♡

Update (25/5/2015): 
So I talked to Kak Tijah earlier today about switching my position from cashier to general worker or anything OTHER than cashier, and she was pretty reluctant and she made a deal with me instead. If by next week I still feel like cashier just isn't the job for me, then I'll get to change it. Since two new girls came in today, Kak Tasha spent the day passing down informations to the older girl - Kak Shida, so I spent the day checking stocks, and only stayed at the cashiers when needed. I have to say that I feel much relaxed after work today, even though checking stocks isn't an easy job either, but it definitely causes very little stress compared to being a cashier. So far, I'm liking this whole "part-time" cashier thing going on. Let's see how I'll be able to take it for the next few days! ^^

-am-

Lone Adventurer vs Lonely Traveller

Hello friends. Today's post isn't about a review or anything like that, just something that I thought of earlier today. If you know me in real life, you would know that I'm the type of person who don't have a ton of friends, just a few that I am really close with, and I spend a lot of my time going out alone or just with one or two friends. Most of the times when I'm outside walking around in the city I am usually alone. But there's just something that people need to remember about those like me; even though we choose to spend time on our own, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are alone or that we are in need of company but have a hard time finding it.

Being alone does not equal to being lonely or being unhappy due to the lack of company. I've always loved going to KL to just walk around and enjoy the vibe and scenery of the city, very rarely do I go out because I have a specific reason to. Somehow doing this without anyone else I know with me helps me keep myself calm. Often when I spend a few weeks or days at home accompanying my mother, I tend to reach this point where I get really stressed out and feel so suffocated when I'm not able to go out and just have a day to myself. Sometimes company is what gives me stress, and yet without company I am able to feel free and content with my life.

There has been a few occasions where my friends (those who don't know me that well) ask me why don't I have a boyfriend, why do I always wander off alone and why am I always so quiet when I'm around my many friends. Here's the thing; I am not one who agrees to commitment very easily, and I am not one to choose to hangout with a large group of people that I don't know very well. I find that committing to something that can't provide you with any assurance or benefits is worth my time. I'm not a fan of making small talks; I get really worn out trying to find the energy to find things to talk about, which often causes me to be the one left out during events that involve a lot of people. Don't get me wrong though, I am 85% committed to the few close friends that I have. These people including my family are people that I am willing to cross oceans for, even if sometimes they don't bother doing the same for me. I am willing to make effort for these people, because they matter to me and I've invested too much of time in them to stop now anyway. They know me so well, which makes it so easy for me to talk to them, because they will understand and for me, it's worth the effort. Basically what I'm trying to say is that if you're one of my good friends, you can expect that I will do anything to make sure you're okay; but if we're just "friends", you'd probably think that I'm antisocial and have no interest in people other than myself.

I always have so much fun whenever I go on adventures alone. The thrill itself is pretty exciting, and when I'm alone I am able to make many spontaneous decisions and I get to do whatever I feel like doing. I don't have to discuss where I should have lunch, what time should I leave whatsoever. I don't have to keep up with people who would rather walk slowly and be late for something instead of walking fast and be early. I don't feel terrible or sad when I'm alone, I just somehow have managed to adapt to the absence of company and learn to have fun instead. But at the same time I do enjoy my close friends' presence just as much. I have fun both when I'm alone as well as when I have my close friends around. So when do I feel uncomfortable and have the urge to leave? When there's just too much people around me at a time and I don't know them enough to have a conversation that's actually important to both parties. I'm cool with meeting new people, but sometimes it gets a bit tough for me to mix around. I'm not against hanging out with a lot of people, I just find it a little less comfortable than the other two options. 

My thoughts on people who often complain about being lonely (most probably because they're used to having company) is that get used to it, bruh. There's absolutely nothing bad about spending sometime with yourself, in fact you might even be able to focus more on yourself and find out amazing things about yourself that were probably hidden away while you were focusing so much of your time on other people and their lives. Look at the chance of spending time alone as an opportunity to discover your potentials and your love for things that you never got a chance to look at while you were busy submerging yourself in the ocean of company. 

I'm sorry at how random this post is, I just suddenly remembered how happy I was today when I finally had the chance to take a walk in the city on my own after being stuck at home with my mum for a long time due to several reasons. Yesterday I was on the verge of breaking down, luckily my friends Bella and Illah invited me out for lunch and I felt so much better after being able to breathe in some "city air". The ability to appreciate the beauty of the city is what I live for, and I am extremely grateful for having friends that always manage to help me escape from my own misery when I need it the most. I may be a lone adventurer, always out and about on my own, but I am definitely not a lonely traveller that craves company and attention. Also here's something that you should know, going adventuring alone often leads to other adventurers to come and say hi to you :)

I hope this post has been a good read, I'd love to know what your opinions are regarding this matter! Thank you for reading and see you soon :) xx

-am- 

TV Shows & Loyalty

Hey there! I just finished watching Supernatural's Season 10 Episode 22, and I felt like writing a post solely about it, but I thought this would be a great opportunity for me to express my love for TV shows.

I started keeping up with several TV series when I first got into secondary school, since I only started downloading and watching movies/tv shows online around that time. I started with Merlin, which I first watched a few of the episodes on TV, then kept up with the episodes online. I became obsessed with Bradley James, the hunk who played King Arthur and I even received laminated pictures of him as birthday presents from my friends. The show ended in 2012, the year I sat for an important exams called PMR. I knew that King Arthur will die in the last episode, and since the ending was released around the time of PMR, I decided to wait and watch the series finale during 2013's New Year, and I couldn't. I was terrified of having to watch him die. When I finally watched it around February or so, I was devastated. I've never experienced death of anyone close to me, but that particular death, even though it was the death of a fictional character, made me feel the way I would feel if someone I loved were to die. And unfortunately this isn't the only show that made me feel that way. I sticked around until the end of the show, and I feel like even if they had extended the show and made it a bit longer, I would still watch it till the end. I also had to watch Bradley's character in iZombie, Lowell, die in a heart-wrenching scene and that wasn't enjoyable either.

The second show that I watched was Supernatural, but I'm going to talk about that later and move on to the third show which is Doctor Who. I started watching this show when I as 14, when I started becoming friends with Alia who flew from UK and she gave me all the past and (at that moment) current seasons of the show. The thing about Doctor Who is that instead of experiencing deaths, its more about the regeneration of the Doctors, where the old actor is replaced by a new one while the character still being the same. I wasn't really affected when Nine regenerated into Ten, since he only played the Doctor for a year and he was more of a fun character and there was no emotional attachment of him to the show other than the short romance with Rose Tyler. I loved Ten (played by David Tennant) as the Doctor. I thought he was amazing, I loved his personality as the Doctor, and when he regenerated into Eleven I was so devastated and mad. At that time I thought I would never be able to love Eleven (played by Matt Smith) as the Doctor but I ended up loving him just as much as I loved Ten, maybe a tad bit less than that. When Eleven regenerated into Twelve I bawled so hard. I just felt like he deserved more seasons. Even though I loved Ten when he was the Doctor, but when he returned on the show for the 50th anniversary, I thought Eleven suited the character more. Maybe that's how I will feel if Eleven were to return on the show, or maybe not. I think Twelve is great, but I guess I just loved it more when Ten and Eleven were on the show. What I'm trying to say is, David and Matt leaving the show hurt just as much as how it would if your best friend for many years were to move away and you will never be able to reconnect and be as close as you were when he or she were near to you. 

Now, let's talk about Supernatural, the most frustrating show ever. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I decided to stop watching the show but failed. Dean and Sam have died so many times in the show so I'm just going to mention the deaths that really affected me. In the early seasons of the show, the deaths weren't too bad, the boys had one mission and the rest were just hiccups and challenges that they had to face. John's death was emotional, but it didn't hurt too much, and the others were just part of the storyline. But let's not forget Sam dying in Dean's arms in season 2. That was.. terrible. When Sam came back from hell after being in the cage with Lucifer and Michael, that was pretty upsetting and I felt so sad for Sam that he had to deal with all that, but season 8's ending really made me pissed. I cried so hard because Sam was hurt and I was so annoyed at the whole angel plot. And then we have Kevin's death, which was pretty friggin awful, because 1. he died in Sam's hands 2. Dean was so guilty about the whole thing I felt so sorry for him :( And then the best death ever, when Dean died in Sam's arms during season 9's finale. Do you need to watch how emotional it was because here's the link you're welcome. Sam's tears got me tearing up in my own bloody room, that scene hurt so BAD its indescribable. And then you have Dean turning into a demon in the same freaking episode I mean excuse me?? I love demon!Dean by the way but that scene was just too horrible to digest. Now season 10, we have our beloved Charlie being punched and beaten up by Dean, thanks to the awesome Mark of Cain, and better yet, Charlie died trying to fix his mess a few episodes later. I'm not going to lie I had tears running down my cheeks when she died, because I simply couldn't handle Sam and Dean's expressions. There's just something about Sam almost-crying-face that makes it unbearable for me to watch. And finally, season 10 episode 22 (for now). Dean showing off his Cain side again by slaughtering the whole Stein's family (the family who killed Charlie); Sam trying to kill Crowley who is FAMILY by the way, but the ending of the episode literally gave me a panic attack (seriously). Dean beating up Castiel, that was hard to watch, but when Dean almost wanting to stab Cas to death using Cas' own angel blade; the cinematography and his expressions, that gave me a heart attack. I thought he really did kill Castiel, but thank goodness he didn't. That ending got me really good, and I am not happy about it. I am 150% positive that next week's season finale is going to get me so upset and frustrated that I will plan to stop watching the show but ending up watching it till the end. 

I know I included loyalty into the title, and here's what I have to say about it. Despite all these deaths of my favourite characters who I have emotional attachment to, I still choose to watch these shows until the end and experience the pain over and over again. I'm going to be honest, it can be pretty stressful watching these shows, especially Supernatural, since I have been watching these characters throughout my whole teenage years. I have given up on most of it so many times but I always find myself going back to the same shows and rarely do I choose to find a new one to watch. I wonder if this is loyalty or if I just refuse to get attached to even more characters just to watch them die a few seasons into the series. I would never agree to the idea of CW cancelling Supernatural, but at the same time sometimes the deaths are just a bit too much for me to handle.

Let me know what TV shows you guys like to watch, and if you like the TV shows that I've mentioned above, hit me up! Maybe we can spend sometime releasing our frustration regarding the non-stop deaths of such important characters :p

ps: I do watch some other shows, but these have caused emotional pain for me much more than the rest. also, I have to admit I do get a bit too into these shows sometimes, but I guess I can't really help it now that I've watched them for almost six years

- am -

Valebat April 2015: Pulau Langkawi

Another month, another adventure! If you've read my post regarding the TWCS presentation interview, you'd know that I took a flight to Langkawi on the 23rd of April 2015. This is my second time there this year/ever, and I took a few pictures that I didn't manage to get during my first trip there. I brought my Instax Mini8 camera this time, and had to buy some films and batteries in Langkawi since I completely forgotten that I had emptied my camera the last time I used it. It also conveniently stopped working when I was snapping a picture of the sunset at one of the beaches, and died right before the whole film was printed out, but I managed to save the film and the camera (fun fact: my previous instax camera broke because of the same reason, and I had to buy an exact same camera to replace it). I also took a few pictures on my dad's really old Lumix camera. Anyway, check out the pictures I took right below!

Took this while we were waiting from our flight @ KLIA

From left: My sister, my nephew and my mother

Before takeoff: I was in my formal attire throughout the whole journey there, since I went to the airport right after my interview @ Taylor's Lakeside Campus

Duck Tour @ Oriental Village

Crocodile Cave; part of our charter tour from Kilim Geopark

Eagle sighting; part of the charter tour as well

On our way to a beach during the charter tour as well

Stopped by to take pictures on the way back

From left: Brother IL, mother, myself, sister and lil' nephew :)

I have yet to scan the polaroid pictures, will upload them once I get back from my next adventure; Cambodia! xx

ps. sorry for the really late post, been busy for the past few days :(

-am-

What Do You Want to Do In The Future?

Today I was asked a very cliché question by my brother: Adik nak buat apa nanti? (as in what do I want to do as a career) and my answer was that I just want to be wealthy. At this moment I realised that I honestly don't have any idea what kind of job I would like to do for the rest of my life. I spent hours after that (over)thinking about it, until I found a proper answer to that question. I want to be a creator. 

I know I've decided that I want to study architecture in university, but I can never really imagine myself as an architect. Its as if that title doesn't sound right to me. I don't want to be a product designer or a graphic designer either, even though my past activities make it seem as if I'm more suited to those careers. I guess this is why I can't decide on what to be in the future. Because all I really want is to be a creative and versatile person, able to adapt to all sorts of jobs and situation. I don't wish to be an architect and be stuck to only designing buildings, and I don't want to be a graphic designer and lose the chance to learn the knowledge of architecture, I want to be able to create different things in order to solve different problems, and being able to encounter different forms of challenges, not just in one particular department.  And I think 'creator' is the perfect name for this 'career' I wish to have in the future. 

I've always think of myself as a 'jack of all trades, master of none' as I am capable and interested in doing all sorts of things, but am never committed to investing my time in one particular skill or activity. I'm good at a lot of things, but never exemplary at any of it. I've always been able to achieve grades that are good enough to prevent me from getting into trouble, and good enough at sports to be able to compete in one but never good enough to win, good enough to get my designs used in school but never good enough to get a decent pay for them... I just have a habit of dipping my toes into many kinds of things just to know how to do them, but never to master them. And I personally don't think that's a bad thing. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes you can't find the exact job that defines what you would like to do in the future, or what dreams you would like to achieve, but I'm pretty sure in the end or somewhere along the journey of living, you will figure it out and you will be able to do whatever you desire. Whatever it is that you end up doing, try to enjoy it and you will find happiness in it, as they all say - fake it till you make it.

That's the brain spill I have for today, I hope it has been a good read and let me know what you think about the importance figuring out your future career at 18! See ya :)

ps: what I meant by saying I want to be wealthy: I want to be able to not only have sufficient money to be able to avoid any kind of financial problems, but also to be able to have extra money that I can use to increase joy and happiness in my life.

- am -

Valebat 2015: My 18th Birthday Celebration ♡

On the 19th of April 2015, I finally turned 18. My friends kindly planned a surprise party for me on the 15th of April, the Wednesday before the 19th. Its been 10 days since my birthday, and I only now feel like its the right time to post this :)

Initially, I had planned to ask my friends out just to spend a day out together and I've not seen most of them for quite some time. So Wednesday was actually supposed to be catchup session for my girlfriends and I. On the 15th, I went out as usual, got on a bus and reached KLCC earlier than I was meant to, just as usual. When I got there, I wasn't expecting anyone to be around, but I just informed them anyway and I headed to the KLCC Park to snap some pictures of the city. So, our plan was to have lunch together at Avenue K's Johnny Rockets at 12pm, and I reached there 11am. After spending a good hour at the park, I stopped by Kinokuniya to get some stationaries and went to Typo right afterwards. I also offered to book a table for us at Johnny Rockets, but apparently Suraya had settled that matter and I need not to worry. As I was browsing through Typo, suddenly Tsara Aisyah texted me that she just reached KLCC and that she was heading towards Typo. We walked around the store together for few minutes then made our way to Avenue K for the lunch. I felt a bit overwhelmed by Aisyah because she was wearing a pair of heels and she was practically towering over me who thought it'd be a good idea to wear my pair of Nike shoes for a fancy lunch. 

When we got to Avenue K, we decided to look around H&M and Aisyah started picking out clothes and wanting to try them out in the fitting room. I waited outside, looking for things to shop for and suddenly she came out of the fitting room without even trying it on. At that point I was starting to sense something strange going on, but I brushed it off. Oh by the way, this whole time everyone in the group chat said that they're still not around and Aisyah won't stop texting on her phone; her excuse was that her mum is mad at her for leaving the laundry in the washing machine overnight, causing the clothes to smell. Anyway, Aisyah left the fitting room exactly when Syakirah asked us to hurry up to Johnny Rockets as some of them are already there. So we walked to Johnny Rockets, with me not suspecting anything, and as we went in I saw a table fully decorated with balloons and my friends sitting around it. I was shocked. I was shocked because of the balloons, and also because 2 uninvited guests (2 boys who weren't in the group chat) were there as well. And one of them was my friend, Palvin who I knew from the Kasturi tuition which I had attended back when I was 15 and 16. I honestly wasn't expecting the surprise at all, and to see my friends gathered up to celebrate my birthday, it was extremely comforting to know.

From left: Illah, Aisyah, Syakirah, Arina, Suraya & myself! (taken by the lovely waiter @ Johnny Rockets!)

I sat down at one end of the table, while Pal was sitting next to me. Here's the thing about me and him, we barely talk these days. It was really surprising and sort of strange to have him there, seeing that we're not really close friends or anything like that. He was nice enough to bring me balloons and a cup of Baskin-Robbins ice cream, which I failed to finish as I was pretty filled with all the milkshakes and grilled chicken from the meal that we had later on. Pal was telling me that he has to leave early for work, and I didn't believe him, so I decided to talk to Aisyah who was sitting next to me on the other side, and not surprisingly, he left before we even managed to order our food. Sorry Palvin! I thought you were fooling around, like how you always do :(

Anyway, those who were there for the party were Suraya, Arina, Illah, Syakirah, Tsara Aisyah and Palvin. I found out while I was eating that it was in fact Suraya who had initiated the plan to celebrate my birthday. They even made me a huge birthday card with pictures of me in it, and they got me a bunch of presents as well. Suraya even bought me a birthday cake from Wondermilk which tasted amazing by the way, and they all chipped in to pay for my meal that day. After we were done with lunch, Syakirah had to leave while the rest of us head back to KLCC and went to Typo where Aisyah got me a few stuff and also Factorie to do some shopping. It wasn't very convenient for us as we were carrying all the presents, birthday card as well the birthday cake while shopping. So, Aisyah decided to store everything, including the balloons in the lockers located at the Petronas Art Gallery which was opposite of Factorie. After that, we went back to Factorie, they bought some stuff and we went to H&M and Cotton On in Avenue K. Arina also had to go back while we were shopping in H&M. After that, it was just Aisyah, Suraya, Illah and I left, so we decided to return to Factorie where I got myself 2 pair of dresses, and we went to grab our stuff from the lockers and refused to visit the art gallery. Let me just tell you we did get side-eyed by the staff working at the art gallery. 

After that, Aisyah and Suraya were thirsty so we decided to go to Coffee Bean to get some chai latte, then we went to the KLCC Park to have a little picnic, also to rest our extremely exhausted legs. We initially planned to eat some cake there, but unfortunately we had no tissues nor cutleries to eat with, so we decided to play with the helium balloons instead. Not long after that, Aisyah had to leave so the rest of us chose to head home as well. Suraya and Illah helped me carry some of my stuff while we sent Aisyah to her car, and Illah also waited for me to get a cab before he himself head home. I had to get a taxi even though I knew it would cost me a fortune, because there were just too many things to carry, and it was just simply not possible for me not to trip on the bus carrying all that stuff home. 

The cab that I took was one that I had ordered through MyTeksi, and even though at that time the traffic was horrible, and the fact that I live pretty far from the city centre made me an unfavourable customer, but one taxi driver was kind enough to pick me up and send me home, as she was also heading back home which was near to mine. Throughout the entire ride home, we had a nonstop conversation and I practically learned about her family only by that 30-minutes long conversation. Even though I was completely knackered at that point, the conversation was interesting and informative enough to prevent me from jamming my earphones into my ears to avoid being talked to. I reached home pretty late, had to pay RM18 for the ride (the price was intially RM28 but I used a RM10 off coupon code from COFFEETICKS, which was awesome!) but thankfully I made it home safe and sound. When I got home, my mum completely ignored me, but its my fault I guess, as I left home without informing her earlier and I also have exceeded my curfew :p 

All in all it was an extremely great day; tiring but great. I'm also super grateful that I've been blessed with such kind and generous friends who were willing to spend time and effort in order for me to experience a great birthday. This is not the first surprise birthday party that they've planned for me, but is the first with helium balloons and I have to admit I got a bit overexcited of those. I'm not one to have many friends, but I do have a handful of really quality ones, and I'm extremely happy to be able to call them my friends. 

If you're interested to see what they got me for my birthday, you can check out my birthday "haul" post which will be up pretty soon! I still can't get over how overwhelmed I felt when I saw my friends in that restaurant. Anyway, hope this has been a good read, and I'll see you soon!

-am-

Valebat 2015: Interviews - UiTM Interview for Sarjana Muda Sains Senibina

Here's to the most hectic interview I've attended yet. And by hectic I mean problems lead by own carelessness. As you probably already know, some of the courses that you apply through UPU requires you to attend an interview in order to be accepted. And lucky for me, I was offered to attend an interview for my first choice, which is UiTM's Sarjana Muda Sains Senibina. The interview I was assigned to was held at Fakulti Senibina, Perancangan dan Ukur (FSPU) in UiTM Shah Alam. The dress code was formal, and we were told to bring along our design portfolios as well 2B pencil and an eraser.

Temuduga Sarjana Muda Sains Senibina - 18th April 2015

So, since my dad is currently doing his masters in UiTM's FSPU, he drove me there without having problem with directions or getting lost. Before we entered UiTM, we had breakfast at a nearby mamak restaurant. My interview was scheduled to be at 8.30am, but obviously it wasn't possible for me to actually be interviewed at that time. After breakfast, my dad dropped me off while he waited at the parking lot incase anything happens. Before entering the FSPU buliding, all candidates had to line up according to their courses to register for the interview. And oh man, the line for Sarjana Muda Sains Senibina was so freaking long that by the time all of the other courses are done with registering, our line still had around 25+ people left to register. I even bumped into Ali from the TWCS interview, Faisal my Muse friend, and I also saw that Myra Mustaffa girl from CBN.  Fortunately for me, I was there on time and I didn't have to line up for too long. Here comes the hectic part. As I was lining up, I realised that my IC was missing, and then I remembered that I had left it in a folder I brought to get my documents "disahkan" at the police station the day before. I called my dad and he was like its fine, they don't really wanna see it etc, and I went to inform one of the officers and he said that its cool. Then, 10 minutes into lining up, the officer announced that we have to take out our offer letter that we had printed out. Here's what happened when I tried to print this thing the night before. My printer was being a complete arse and decided to print the first time horribly, making it seem like I was running out of ink. I completely freaked out, its was 10pm, none of the printing shops were opened and my dad was having class and there was no way for him to help me. Then I just tried my luck again, and the second time I printed it it was completely fine. Back to the interview day, when I took out the offer letter, I realised that it was different from everybody else's. My computer printed out 2 out of 3 of the pages and I was missing out the paper where my name was supposed to be. I called my dad again, he was being completely unhelpful, and I managed to convince him to get it printed as I might not be able to enter if I don't have that. By the time I got to the registration booth, my dad was not done, but fortunately for me, the lady officer was being extremely kind and let me in anyway. Then I waited for my dad just in case I need the documents during the actual interview, and then he passed to me around 15 copies of that one page. How generous, right? 

Moving on to the next step, after registration, we were ushered into the building to sit under a booth where we had to wait for our turns. While I was sitting down, I found out that all the other candidates have brought along copies of their certificates, which I obviously didn't prepare as it wasn't stated in the instructions in the offer letter, and one of the girls was like omg you need to have the copies to submit to the interviewers etc etc. Even though I was determined that I have followed the instructions and the copies are not needed, I went to the photocopy department on the second floor anyway just in case. By the time I got there, the officer told me that only the important documents needed to be copied, and I have all of that and I was not required to photocopy the rest of my certs. I went back down, out of breath and getting a little bit annoyed at that point. As we waited downstairs, the officer gave out our numbers and mine was 237. Not long after that, around 100+ of us were ushered into a hall where we had to undergo a drawing test. The test was pretty simple, they had arranged a few geometry blocks on a table, and all you gotta do is sketch out what you're seeing from your seat only by using a 2B pencil. I was kinda freaking out during this session, because I was absolutely intimidated by how the girl next to me was sketching so loudly with her pencil, like a pro. I got pretty distracted by the noise, and I think I re-sketched out the shapes around 3 times because I wasn't feeling very confident about me. But I think I did a decent job, and I was impressed at how most of them sitting around me did pretty good as well. 

After the drawing session comes the scary part, the interview. I was the first to leave the hall so I was kinda leading the group of 100+ people following an officer to the waiting area for the interview. I sat on the first chair and of course I was the first one to be called in. The lady who called us in spoke really good English, and from there I understood that this whole interview will be in English. The interview was one-to-one, and my interviewer was a lady. I showed her my SPM art portfolio, she asked me a few questions and the interview didn't last very long. She asked me very few questions regarding architecture, like why did I pick architecture, whats your favourite building and etc. The questions weren't really about facts regarding architecture, and she also asked me what my favourite band was. I wasn't really happy about that because I was expecting to be able to express to her my passion in architecture, not my passion in music! I just felt like the interview was a tad unprofessional. Anyway, after I was done with that I was allowed to leave and I had to wait an hour before my dad came to pick me up. The whole thing ended at like 12pm, so I guess if you're there early it wouldn't take very long to finish. 

Just like all the other interviews, I found out that what the interviewers really want to see is your proficiency in English. I believe thats why the interviewer asked me really random questions about my personal interest, completely neglecting the fact that I was there for an architecture interview. Anyway, things that you should prepare for this interview is a decent portfolio, practice on your sketching skills, learn about perspective drawing and again, work on your English. Make sure to reach there on time or be early, unless if you'd like to spend the rest of your day waiting for your turn. Don't forget your important documents like I did, and most importantly, enjoy the interview! There's really nothing much to it other than these common reminders. 

I have to say that this interview was the most emotionally-draining interview I've attended, but I did enjoy the whole experience altogether. I've yet to receive the results for this interview, but I'll be sure to give an update when I do. I hope this post has been helpful, and if you were there for the interview too, let me know how it went! :)

If you'd like to read about the final round of the TWCS interview, click here!

// TWCS Interview // JPA-MARA SAC Interview //

-am-

Valebat 2015: Interviews - JPA-MARA SAC Interview

Bonjour!  I just realised that I've been spending the whole night writing down posts regarding the interviews, and its almost 2am right now and I'm continuing with this one. Lets talk about my experience with the JPA-MARA SAC Interview, shall we :)

JPA-MARA 2015/2016 SAC Interview - 25th March 2015

Hm where do I begin? This year's SAC "interview" was a bit different from the past few years. Instead of wearing formal attire, we were told to dress up in long-sleeved white t-shirt and track pants, as well as with sports shoes. When the dress code was first announced, there were rumours that a bleep test would be held during the interview spread like wildfire. Lucky for us, that was not the case. Just like the previous years, the SAC interview had the same procedure. My session was scheduled to be at noon, I think around 2.30pm (I can't remember exactly) and the venue was at Intec, Shah Alam. Mum and I went to Shah Alam pretty early, and we went to grab some brunch with her friend at Coffee Planet, then they dropped me off at Intec just after Zuhur. I performed my Zuhur prayers at the surau there, and by the time I got to the room I was assigned to, I was a few minutes late, but fortunately for me there were others who came later than I did. There were chairs arranged in a circle and the girls sat on one half of the circle while the boys sat on the opposite half. Then, the staff came in and called our names one by one and we passed them the documents while they give us our numbers. I think mine was 23 or 29, I honestly can't remember. Anyway, after that we were separated into four groups, mixed genders, and my group and another group were asked to remain in the room while the other two groups moved to the next room. So, the first session that we had was to present in BM, and the topic that we got was - Jika anda merupakan pemimpin pada tahun 2040, apakah teknologi yang boleh digunakan untuk memajukan sektor sukan dalam negara Malaysia - or something like that and something else along the line. We were given 30 minutes, I believe, to discuss the topic and we were also given a mahjong paper to write our points down. I'm really sorry, its been a month since the interview, so most of the details are blurred now. Anyway, my teammates consisted of really impressive people; one of them, the group leader, actually wrote a novel before. She is also a debater which means her BM was extremely good. The boys in my group were pretty excellent too, they were really participative, most of them gave a lot of suggestions and they did an awesome job at presenting. During that first session, I personally think our group shined more than the other group that was in the room. 

After we were done with that, we switched rooms with the other two group and began with the second session, which was presentation in English. We were asked whether we would like to switch our teammates, but we decided it was best to stick with the original groups. So, the topic we were given was - Why is important for the youth to have volunteerism and something else - I'm honestly such a goldfish, I can barely remember anything. Throughout the discussion it was obvious that I had the upper hand in this topic compared to the rest of my team, and the other team had a strong English speaker as well. I tried to spill out as many ideas I had, and I was also given the honour to write down the points onto the mahjong paper this time :p Anyway, even though some of my teammates wasn't really good at contributing ideas this time, but they again did an excellent job at presenting and I have to say I am kinda jealous of their skills. The other group also had one girl who stood out for being able to speak really good English. After we were done with that, we basically finished the whole interview and we were allowed to take back the documents and leave. Unfortunately I didn't manage to make any new friends this time, but it was a pretty interesting experience, and I think I look forward to work in that sort of competitive environment in the future.

I was kinda bummed after this interview because I felt intimidated by how good the other candidates were at presenting, and the fact that they were analysing us mainly based on those two presentations made me feel pretty anxious. Do remember that you must speak only in BM during the BM session and English during the English session. I was actually told off my the officer when I spoke English during the BM session. I was also pretty overwhelmed by the fact that most of them there got 8a+ and above for their SPM results. Also, remember the girl who wrote a freaking novel, oh well she was able to speak basic mandarin too. Academically, they were much better than me but I guess I do give off a confident vibe as that same girl won't stop saying how confident I was during the whole thing. I honestly wasn't I was freaking out I was trying my very best not to bawl my eyes out when I got in my mum's car after the interview. 

Good news is, on the 25th of April, just a few days ago, the results came out and Alhamdulillah, I've managed to pass the interview. I did apply to go to US to study Science, but they did not specify was Science courses are available, and I am hoping that they will accept architecture as one of the courses. Even if I have to beg, I don't mind as I really do want to study in US and this is one of the best pathways I can take to achieve that. Based on my whole experience during this SAC thingamajig, the only tips I have is that you need to be confident. I've read somewhere that the main thing that they're looking for is confidence, as well as good command in both English and BM, and the ability to work well in groups. So if you're not confident with your English, this is the time to buck up! My English is honestly not great at all, but I'm guessing it is enough to secure me a spot during interviews, but I still need to put in more effort in order to improve it. All in all, don't be intimidated when you get there. It honestly does not depend on your SPM result once you've been shortlisted for the interview, because from there on they no longer care about your As, but they need to see that you have what it takes to survive studying overseas. I've known people who got like 9a+ for SPM and did not manage to pass the interview, so keep that in mind. 

I hope this post has been helpful and that it has been interesting to read, let me know how your interviews went and if you have any tips when it comes to acing interviews!

If you'd like to read about the final round of the TWCS interview, click here!

// TWCS Interview // UiTM Sarjana Muda (Sains) Senibina Interview //

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